Five fake occupations for your next party

Tired of answering “so what do you do?”  Peatix Singapore has your back with this expert list of utterly made-up jobs. Find the right fake title and never be bored at parties again.

1. Blogshop Owner (Good-as-new pre-loved shoes)
Chinese New Year is a busy sourcing season for you, since Singaporeans visit homes of relatives they only see once a year and leave their fancy new shoes lying around unguarded.  You give them a good clean and sell them online at shockingly low prices.
Dont STOMP me

2. Cold Yoga Instructor
As a teacher of Thanda Yoga, or Cold Yoga, you are leading the way in exposing Singapore to the benefits of yoga done with air-conditioning at full-blast. You claim the cold contracts your pores for better complexion, stiffens your muscles to provide a more challenging stretch, and improves your mental health because cold people are more appreciative of life in general.
Latest trend in town

3. SMRT Social Media Manager
Your go-to terms are “bridging services”, “cable fault” and “track fault.”  You know before everyone else if you should take the EWL, NSL or bus to your office located right at City Hall.  Free rides are a perk, but the unstable 3G network on trains has gotten you into trouble with delayed Facebook posts and tweets.
Standard issue uniform

4. (Non-face) Underwear Model
If someone says you look familiar, let them know why.  The OG and Metro department store brands photograph your lovely assets, but skip your face to save on the budget.You dont say I look familiar

5. Lead Dengue Banner Designer
You’re an unsung hero.  Your banners have saved hundreds of lives and counting.  You’re looking for new ways to shock the population into covering their bamboo pole holes with plastic caps.
If they bleed you bleed

But seriously…here are 5 steps to effective event networking.

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