The four New York events of the week you would be well advised not to miss

Hello New Yorkers and New York cosmopolitan area-ers and tourists who don’t know how to ambulatorily check their blind spots before moving horizontally! Today we begin a new post-series in which we bring you a hand-curated organic selection of the four most conspicuously unmissable attractions, shows and exhibits in the city.

This week sees a balanced meal of extreme sports, extreme piano playing, extreme fauna, and extreme television watching. So…balanced as long as your constitution is extreme enough to digest the following:

1. Bargemusic—Friday, July 26, 8pm
Bargemusic is exactly what it sounds like, unless what it sounds like to you is the exploration of a barge as music instrument. In fact, this barge hosts frequent concerts on its deck, and boygollygoshgeewizzstains is there a bargiful one this Friday: John Cage’s Sonatas and Interludes for piano, in which an assortment of objects is inserted into a piano’s strings, rendering the timbre of each note totally different. If you’ve never heard the Sonatas and Interludes, I promise you you will be surprised how much you resemble a cock-headed dog hearing a new sound.

Bargemusic piano event

2. Breaking Bad marathon—Friday July 26 – Tuesday 30
The only substance addictive enough to draw actual meth addicts away from meth, Breaking Bad is like Game of Thrones set in New Mexico, with the sex and swords replaced with drugs and guns. Also no cold weather-triggered zombies (though I haven’t seen season 5 of Breaking Bad yet). So starting Friday, come on down and join fellow substance or television abusers for a marathon of all 54 episodes.

breaking bad new york marathon

3. Pogopalooza—Friday July 26 – Sunday 28
I’m really eager to start talking about #4 frogs, so I’ll perfunctorily say that there is a pogostick competition both Saturday and Sunday this weekend, and it will be fun to watch. NOW FROGS.

4. Frogs: a Chorus of Colors—Go now!
FROGS. Though John Cage never stuck a frog in one of his pianos, that doesn’t mean the Museum of Natural History can’t bring you a synaesthetic frog ensemble—frogsemble—of some of the more baller species from around the world. For instance: giant monkey frogs, Mexican dumpy frogs, tomato frogs and Brazilian milk frogs are all on live display. Also one species of frog swallows its fertilized eggs then gives birth through the mouth. It’s facts like these that make it important for you to go to this exhibit with all haste.

Frog giving birth through mouth