BREAKING: Peatix has just learned that Chris Christie, governor of the pretty great state of New Jersey, is unwrapping and sitting down to another hearty meal of scandal, corruption and key lime pie.
Apparently, Christie, according to sources close to him (preemptive note to the more insensitive readers of this blog: this does not mean the entire eastern seaboard), had never in his entire tenure as governor ever set up a single event online. If the allegations are true, it could mean New Jersey for years has been deprived of the fabulous benefits of online event and ticket management.
Peatix has obtained quotes of Christie’s reactions upon learning of aforementioned fabulous benefits.
Upon learning that Peatix enables organizers to begin selling tickets online in minutes:
“What I’ve seen today for the first time is miraculous. But I am outraged and deeply saddened that no one on my staff told me about Peatix before now. The people of New Jersey deserve better.”
Upon learning New Jerseyans have been paying exorbitant ticket fees for years:
“Deeply saddened. The deepest actually. Probably more than when I learned about the GW bridge thing…not to say that wasn’t really also unacceptable and caused deep sadness within me as well, but this…did I say the people of New Jersey deserve better?”
Upon learning it’s possible to scan tickets with nothing but your phone:
“Yes. That’s awesome”
Upon learning that his celebrity look-alike is James Franco:
“Eeeeeee!!! I always knew it, but it feels really, really good to hear it from someone else. The people of New Jersey deserve someone who looks like James Franco.”
Upon learning that the Watchlist feature on Peatix lets a person be reminded to buy a ticket before the event:
“Ok, good good. Go on.”
Upon learning that ColorSync reinvents the concept of the ticket, and enables check-in lines to move magnitudes faster:
“THAT’S NOT EVEN TRUE”
Editor’s note: When Christie calmed down, we were able to explain ColorSync technology to him, and he actually thought it was pretty cool.
When asked why he had once played around with Eventbrite: